Adele – Lovesong (Live)

I used to be awakened by my Mami’s high heels strutting down the house at 5:30 every weekday morning, accompanied by the background rhythm of our bubbling and groaning percolator.  Little did I know my own daughters would years later indentify with my bird chirping iphone alarm at the exact same time in the morning, the shuffling of my chanklas trying to find the right foot in the dark, and the same bubbling and groaning of the percolator. 

On weekends in the 70’s, I woke to Abba and Barbara Streisand, and in the 80’s, the spill over of the 70’s with a mix up of Pimpinela, Ana Gabriel, Juan Gabriel and Dyango. After the one worst morning I have had in my 35 years of living, I have since missed the sounds of my Mami’s heels crossing the house and music in the mornings.  It was my senior year in High School and I had been caught with another girl. Mami found out and after a few flying objects from her vanity towards the doorway I stood in, a thousand tears and chopped up conversations of my wondering future, she stopped getting out of bed.  I left home and found another bed, and another, and another, and another, until I ironically bought one of my own at a hotel mattress sale.

The box-spring and mattress were $50 but I think they might have given me two very hard box-springs. Still, when I brought my bed home, where I lived alone and set it up, I felt a feeling of accomplishment and self-comfort.  My best friend Monica gave me a set of super-soft gray sheets her mother sent from out of town one Christmas and they put me to sleep each night, slightly crooked and stiff but to sleep.  My sleeping problems came when I started to wake up in my single-person home to the sound of my Mami’s heels across my hardwood floor at 5:30 am, like her after nights of being out at the clubs.  I didn’t fly out of bed in a panic like I probably should have, but instead enjoyed her ghost heels and even sometimes the ghost bubbling and groaning of the percolator. 

She wasn’t physically in my home back then, but somehow, I invited her here on mornings to remind me that I was “home again,” and again, and again (“Lovesong” by the Cure).

Baby K and Big J inherited my bargain bed, now sealed in two mattress pads and a two inch eggshell foam for comfort.  Erika and I have a bed of our own. Mami and I have since become very close (Thanks to Erika’s Mami powers! (Future blog!) We still listen to Abba, Barbara Streisand,Pimpinela, Ana Gabriel, Juan Gabriel andDyango on weekend mornings, with the youthful addition of Bebe and Nicki Minage. And now, I am a mom of my own. Today the girls are with their father and I woke up to her heels, before my bird chirping alarm, to the familiar pang in my chest of missing her, but today I missed our girls and I missed my Mami.  After starting the coffee, I sat down to write this.

A little Lovesong for Baby K, Big J, Erika and my Mami, originally by the Cure and beautifully sung by Adele. (video by TheYellowPhoenix)